Whew! Yesterday’s topic was quite heavy. But, no one has ever accused me of tip-toeing; especially not around the important aspects of life. But, today, I will lighten the topic; but not the importance; okay?
As part of my commute to work, I take the #4 train at Utica Avenue in Brooklyn. Those who know that area will know where this is headed; for the others, follow me – Utica Avenue is a little West Indies and predominantly, Trinidadians (where I am from). But, every morning, every God-send morning, these women look me up and down, lips curled and eyes all squinty … they look at me as if I either (1) owe them money; or (2) they just got home and caught me climbing off their man’s, well, you know 😉
Why, why in God’s name are we so very catty, ugly, antagonistic and denigrating to each other?! Why is our default setting positioned to “competition”? There is no need! I mean, let’s address this: I suppose I could unearth the fact that somewhere way under there the underlying reason I get such negativity is because, unknowingly, I pose some sort of unwarranted threat. But truly ladies, this is not only the United States of America, this is New York! If you sneer and turn your nose up at every woman you perceive as either a threat to your security as a woman or as having the ability to steal ‘your’ man, your noses will be in a perpetual state of an upward curl!
Listen, the bigger issues are these: (1) if the way I carry myself threatens you in any way; my apologies, I am a confident woman who walks with pride. (2) if the way I look does/can appeal to your man and you need to keep an eye on me and/or him in an attempt to keep him, ladies, you don’t have enough eyes; lose him.
But, I get it – there are women who mistakenly think that their ability to ‘borrow’ or ‘take’ another woman’s partner proves their prowess; so, you stand guard. I get it. But, only when we stand together, empower each other, uplift each other and refuse to accept anyone’s foolishness (including our own), will we then get to the place where we get the type of partners, respect and security we truly deserve.
Ladies, you don’t have to work so hard; you truly don’t. And, if you feel as if you do, then you are in the wrong place. No woman should inspire fear in your heart. No man should imbed insecurity to your soul. There is a great quote (told you I loved them) that says: “A real man does not make his woman jealous of other women. He makes other women jealous of his woman…”
So, when you see me coming, try saying “good morning”; I am no threat to you.