MTA does not stand for: ‘Man-Taking Asshole’…


20140724_170432Whew! Yesterday’s topic was quite heavy. But, no one has ever accused me of tip-toeing; especially not around the important aspects of life. But, today, I will lighten the topic; but not the importance; okay?

As part of my commute to work, I take the #4 train at Utica Avenue in Brooklyn. Those who know that area will know where this is headed; for the others, follow me – Utica Avenue is a little West Indies and predominantly, Trinidadians (where I am from). But, every morning, every God-send morning, these women look me up and down, lips curled and eyes all squinty … they look at me as if I either (1) owe them money; or (2) they just got home and caught me climbing off their man’s, well, you know 😉

Why, why in God’s name are we so very catty, ugly, antagonistic and denigrating to each other?! Why is our default setting positioned to “competition”? There is no need! I mean, let’s address this: I suppose I could unearth the fact that somewhere way under there the underlying reason I get such negativity is because, unknowingly, I pose some sort of unwarranted threat. But truly ladies, this is not only the United States of America, this is New York! If you sneer and turn your nose up at every woman you perceive as either a threat to your security as a woman or as having the ability to steal ‘your’ man, your noses will be in a perpetual state of an upward curl!

Listen, the bigger issues are these: (1) if the way I carry myself threatens you in any way; my apologies, I am a confident woman who walks with pride. (2) if the way I look does/can appeal to your man and you need to keep an eye on me and/or him in an attempt to keep him, ladies, you don’t have enough eyes; lose him.

But, I get it – there are women who mistakenly think that their ability to ‘borrow’ or ‘take’ another woman’s partner proves their prowess; so, you stand guard. I get it. But, only when we stand together, empower each other, uplift each other and refuse to accept anyone’s foolishness (including our own), will we then get to the place where we get the type of partners, respect and security we truly deserve.

Ladies, you don’t have to work so hard; you truly don’t. And, if you feel as if you do, then you are in the wrong place. No woman should inspire fear in your heart. No man should imbed insecurity to your soul. There is a great quote (told you I loved them) that says: “A real man does not make his woman jealous of other women. He makes other women jealous of his woman…”

So, when you see me coming, try saying “good morning”; I am no threat to you.

5 responses to MTA does not stand for: ‘Man-Taking Asshole’…

  1. Kirelz

    It was so strange going back to Trinidad, walking into a room (a store, the bank- wherever) and hearing people say “good morning”
    I’ve gotten so used to the NY stare downs and aggression that it surprised the heck out of me!
    Sadly I make it a point not to focus on anyone around me during my commute. I just put my headphones on it read a book and tune people out. It allows me to maintain my sanity and not be in a pissy mood for the rest of my day. But in a sense we are really losing out….


  2. Charmion TLW Gomes

    I confess that I’m actually surprised to hear that this is what women currently confront on their daily commute in the US. I naively thought that US women [particularly in big cities] were more ‘evolved’. Despite that, I am confident that movements such as this blog will inform and [hopefully] enlighten. Let’s work at being better than this.


  3. Vin

    See, that “Good Morning” you advise – that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. You’ve got to gauge the audience to determine whether manners and cheer will act as a social lubricant or just provoke active antagonism. The strong, confident woman – she’ll return the greeting and get back to her focus, her world, her iPad, her newspaper. Unless she recently suffered an attack on that strength and independence, in which case she’s an angry harridan this morning! The not-really-that-confident-but-read-a-book-on-assertiveness will take it as a first sortie in an attack on her defenses and glare. The have-already-dismissed-90%-of-others-as-trifling will disdain the greeting. The here-we-go-why-do-I-attract-the-crazies will not acknowledge that it was aimed at her. On-her-way-to-argue-the-support-out-of-the-child-father just can’t understand why you’re aiming all that strong and happy in her direction. On-her-way-to-an-interview is busy repeating her power mantra. Another-day-another-dollah is too tired to care. Ain’t-got-none-but-one-fickle-man is just tired of him talking ’bout just the type you look like, so she IS mad at you just for being. And so on.

    There are so many perspectives, so many scenarios as to make them all typical. This melting pot called NY sometime merely renders the soft parts down, leaving all the hard, sharp bits exposed.


  4. Let's AdDress This... – Author

    Sadly, I think that until we stop placing so much emphasis from a very very young and impressionable age on beauty and all the frivolous, fleeting trappings of same: hair, make-up, size, shape, color of eyes, texture of hair, to name a few, the tendency will continue on. Sigh…


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