I admit it…I will forever be fascinated by the male brain. And, I am beginning to accept that no matter how many books and articles are published professing to hold the ‘key’ to unlocking that psyche, “it” will never be deciphered.
One of the most dominant fascinations for me is their ability to compartmentalize actions and seemingly to then base decisions on, not the sum of all actions, but on the one that nets them either the greatest pleasure or the most benefit (and yes, those are mutually exclusive). The male brain it seems is able to sufficiently divorce the action from the inevitable consequence …all in the pursuit of that decision’s validation. Sigh.
Now as a woman (and I might as well own up to being a very self-aware and opinionated one), I admit to having and practicing the ability to look at a situation and placing each of its components into its own compartment; with one very glaring difference – I also file the inevitable reaction away with the action. At no time do I delude myself, by burying my head below the proverbial sand, that I will be the lucky one to escape the consequences.
Men. I have spent a great part of my life, once I fully accepted my own sexuality, looking at, learning from and loving them. I still do not get it! For the life of me, when I look at their actions and reactions to many of their decisions and their shock and surprise every time at how things have turned out, I cannot help but be reminded of that movie, ‘Groundhog Day’. After a while (and, of course if you are not the one at the receiving end of it), even as serious or as life-altering as the effects of their decisions can be, you can’t help but shake your head, give that little laugh of utter wonderment and walk away from the carnage.
Let’s address this seeming ability to disconnect desire from possible, inevitable consequence. Let’s do so briefly; in honor of how long this desire mostly lasts – until the next one surfaces. Predominantly men have been attributed with the insatiable desire for women, sex, money, gadgets and power; not necessarily in that order. I say “predominantly” because there are some of our sex (oops) who are similarly affected. In the pursuit of same, it seems as if some men then begin to open those cupboards in their brain that they have previously labeled and used for just this purpose. I think if we were allowed a never-before-peak we will see that the tags simply read, “Fun, Games, Tonight, Hot, Money, Toys, Sex”. Then, there are the, “Wife” and ‘Kids” compartments. Three cupboards. Depending on the man, the names of the bigger compartment may read differently; the problem is, there is always that compartment! What is notably absent? The “Consequence” cupboard. Shit! Will even settle for an “oops” box!
I spoke with a friend last night who was telling of a woman being seven months pregnant with his child. Notice, “a” woman; not his woman. I asked (because that is what I do) if he were happy about this; his response was “no”. He then volunteered to not being in love with her. I did not even attempt to hide my incredulity! I did not attempt to temper my come-back! “Why in God’s name do some of you men make life decisions with women that you already know are temporary! If you want to fuck, do so; but don’t be stupid”!
I mean it’s so simple (or it should be) – “do not make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion…”
More to come I’m sure…