Let’s Address This: On Monday I published a post discussing some of my feelings and thoughts triggered by watching Law & Order SVU. Like many of my other thoughts, they were in-depth, somewhat provocative and definitive in my opinion. What they and most others I share weren’t, were the totality of what I think and feel about the given subject.
I am circling back to this particular topic this quickly as shortly after this post was launched, I was contacted privately by a very dear friend (interestingly, and I so value it, I get quite a bit of private rather than public feedback from you all; thank you) who started off by thanking and commending me for sharing my insight on such a highly sensitive subject; but who also wanted to be certain that I continue to expand on and expose some of the other realities little discussed.
In all things, as I had hoped I successfully imparted on Monday, I strive for, if not absolute impartiality, unquestioned fairness. I concede that I am indeed opinionated and fantastically passionate; both traits that I recognize may appear to tilt the direction of a conversation one way or the other. Let me state this outright – I neither do coy or passive-aggressive; I consider both a complete waste of an exchange. So, with that, please always depend on the fact that what you read is what I intended; whether you agree or don’t. Also, count on the probability that I will have more to say on any given topic J
So, I don’t do coy or passive-aggressive; but I do do fore-play and now it’s over. There is a little reported, little acknowledged, little known, little recognized, little discussed, little admitted, little addressed, big reality known as ‘female pedophilia’. In no way are men the only perpetrators of sexual or any other type of abuse; women have and do commit this heinous act as well! Similar to their male assholeparts, their victims can be both male and female – boys and girls. The truth is that women can be just as vicious and equally as predatory as men.
The other sad truth is that this crime when perpetrated by women is not as easily believed; especially when the victim is male. These crimes are hard enough to stomach. So, believing that a woman, who is viewed as the softer sex – meant to be the nurturer, in charge of the universe’s vulnerability – is capable of inflicting such harm; then being called upon to marry that with their victim being male – viewed as stronger, tougher and bigger – this crime is oftentimes dismissed, laughed at, disbelieved and ridiculed.
But, it should not be. Male victims at the hands of women are valid. They are just as scarred as we are when victimized; dare I say, more so? Indeed. Ponder this (and I am not pitting one victim’s validity against the other; but bear with me), imagine our men, raised and reared to perpetuate the image we all harbor and depend on from them: strength, resilience, fearlessness, toughness, rigidity, unflappability, pride, dependability, machismo – imagine their inner confusion when these characteristics are forced to share real estate with the dark reality of forced and unwelcomed submission, dominance and seeming weakness. Now, understand why these crimes are rarely reported or admitted.
I came back to this to honor all men everywhere; especially the ‘shadowy’ victims. I pray that you find the strength to stand up and speak out and recognize that prior victimization should never be the yardstick used to measure and determine your inherent manliness. I hope that, as for so many others, you too realize the shame lies only at the feet of your abusers; do not let it touch yours. Be proud of your survival; even with your scars. When ready, talk about it; use your pain and fear to pave a new road; one that only a man – a strong, beautiful, proud, tough, fearless, resilient, dependable, kick-ass man – only a man like you, can pave.
This post is in support of all the victims – of verbal, mental, physical, domestic, racial and sexual abuse.
This post is in condemnation of all abusers – woman, man, boy and girl.
This post is dedicated to my friend. Once a ‘shadowy’ victim; now a man with the courage to speak up.
“Thank you for expecting more from me” – Fury.