I thought I was going to stay very far away from this Bill Cosby bullshit; because, as you all should have noticed by now, I am not much for regurgitating the things that have already been chewed many times; and, I loathe giving much attention to celebrities and their shenanigans. But, this morning I realized I actually do have an opinion. Well, truth be told, I just have thoughts…
My initial thought when this story broke, was, “here we go again!” Truly. I remember being (and still am) so very fed-up with the continual fall from (yalls) grace where these so-called ‘role models’ are placed. I mean, when will yall stop placing so much stock in people you truly do not know? And, the reason I am saying “yall” is because I do not possess that particular motivation or delusion. I continue to be flabbergasted at the trust that so many seem to place in complete fucking strangers! If you have to find someone to “look up to”, why not place your money on someone who knows your damn name?! I am so angered by this particular penchant that I feel like sticking my tongue out and saying/taunting “neh neh neh neh neh”. Serves you right!
What is it about (some of) us as a society that needs to infuse such trust and loyalty into people that we have not, nor more than likely, will ever meet? Is fame (that oftentimes turns into notoriety) the only criteria that is needed for us to then place what should be our hard-earned respect into these people? Exactly what was it about Bill Cosby that earned him such trust that now illicit such feelings of betrayal? Did he hold some political or religious office that mandated that he stands before us and swears an oath to ‘behave’, that now makes his fall from grace so unconscionable? Was he charged with the responsibility of protecting our daughters, thereby making these supposed (I really mean, true) allegations not only an affront, but evidence of his having perpetrated such a direct and damaging breach of obligation to said children? I will ask again – what makes a stranger’s misdeeds so very important to your/our lives?
Let me address this by answering for myself (it’s Monday; it takes me at least until Tuesday to start answering for you all) – what that man has done, or not, affects my life this much (as I both cross my legs and squish one index finger to the other)! How the hell do we allow ourselves (especially as it is not the first, second, third, or twentieth time that some stranger you’ve placed on a pedestal), to invest so much emotion to the point of making a reality their ability to disappoint? Being angered, I (may) understand. But being disappointed? Why? Why did you think he owed you his best behavior? Or, even his good behavior? No offense…but who are you?
Okay, before some of you prematurely hit the ‘comment’ button, please allow me to explain myself (and, what the hell…this is MY blog!). Sigh. Okay, let’s address this: my disdain for most things ‘celebrity’ and the accolades we tend to heap upon them without their having to do much more than act, sing or establish a high-profile social media presence, is the stuff foolishness is made of! When are we going to get to the point where, if we have to pay these people much more than the attention and money their talent deserves, we vet them for worthiness? Again I ask – what did Bill Cosby do to warrant our belief that he was a good man? A man of integrity? Was all he had to do to earn our esteem, was be black and make us laugh? Have we truly become so damned simple?
Listen, I believe the man raped those women. But, who cares what my opinion is? It is as baseless as your faith and belief in him had been! Founded on nothing more than the fact that I, like you, am allowed to come to my own conclusions. But see, now we get to why I am so very fearful of our propensity to sprinkle so much hope onto strangers – the reason that these people believe they are allowed to behave badly, to indulge themselves at the expense of others, is because we, by our wide-eyed stupidity, give them just the arrogance and veil of duplicity that they depend on. The fact that we ask absofuckinglutely nothing more of them than to just “be” is our endorsement of their self-indulgences! When we blindly idolize, we implicitly mobilize. Understand that our adoration allows for self-importance, secrecy, denial and believability.
Sigh. Okay, I’m not saying that the responsibility for any bad behavior needs to be placed at yalls (not mine) feet; but what I am saying is that viewing these celebrities and people in the spotlight as simply the artists and athletes they are will be doing everyone a favor. Maybe if we (well, yall) stop diety’fying them, it will reveal the truth of their human selves. Maybe stripping away all the access our (well, your) undeserved adoration affords them, will encourage the changes in attitude and behavior we clamor for; albeit much too late – when the freaking train has already left the station! Think about it like this – when you spoil a child, allowing willfulness, disrespect, a lack of gratitude, selfishness and reliance on being the (undeserved) center of the universe, you create a brat; a child that no one else would like to have around – a child that then bullies and imposes their (learned) desire for will onto others. Again I ask – what has any of these people done to deserve the goodwill you offer? Why do we constantly deliver our misguided adoration as the vehicle they then use to disappoint us and hurt others?
I’m done. I hope that one day soon, we wake up and realize that we and our children will be very well served (and protected) if we were to raise the bar on the criteria we implement when selecting our role models. Just sayin’…
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