… My Heart Continues To Walk Around Outside My Body.

A few years ago today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Aneesa Adele. She is my daughter.

Today, as I celebrate the day of her birth, I cannot help but to naturally reach back – to the moments and the memories that litter my heart – of her. Wow! Okay, trust me when I say that you may now be privy to the one aspect of my life that renders me (almost) speechless. Let me try to allow you a glimpse into this secret part of my soul…

Believe me when I say to you that I have started, erased, started and erased this paragraph many times; I am truly at a loss for words and overwhelmed beyond articulation. I have shared many things with you all – about myself and my life; my opinions and thoughts about the goings-on and shenanigans of those around us. I have mouthed off about much foolishness. I have had some share their stories and have been blessed with so much insight and secrets. I have had no shortage of words…until today.

‘Neesie (as we call her), let me say this to you my love: neesie-collage-05

Thank you for choosing me. I thank God for you every single day; and so many years later, I still marvel at my incredible luck! You are the best part of me. Because of you, I get up every day and continue to fight – I fight to be a better woman and I strive to be a worthy mother. Every smile has your name etched into its corners and every tear I shed prayerfully means one less that you will ever have to. Your love for and acceptance of me carries me to work, to school, through this life; and, I thank you. My love, know that with all my shortcomings, there will never be a shortage of pride, love, support and honesty flowing from me to you. Please depend on my being your biggest fan, your most constructive critic and your constant ally. Know that it is okay to disappoint; my love is rooted in stronger stuff than any momentary stumble. I am blown away at the young lady you have become and hold my breath in anticipation of your continued path. I smile now as I envision the wife and mother you will be. Continue to learn sweetheart. Continue to grow. Never be afraid; this entire world is yours! Put on your heels, your sneakers, your flip-flops, go barefoot – leave a trail that others will be excited and compelled to follow! Explore, dream, create, fashion the life you want for yourself. Take your partner’s hand and run amok! You’re here and you belong!

Baby, you are the best I’ve ever done; and today, tomorrow, a million tomorrows as there were yesterdays, I hope you know – go to sleep knowing, walk this earth knowing, fall in love knowing, parent knowing, succeed knowing, stumble knowing, laugh and cry knowing, pray knowing, fail at times knowing, dream knowing, risk knowing, be brave knowing, – sweetheart, continue on after I’m gone knowing – it has been my incredible honor to be your mother.

Happy Birthday my love!

“Sometimes when I need a miracle, I look into my daughter’s eyes and realize I’ve already created one…”

 

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