Don’t Be Stupid… ‘Age’ Is So Much More Than A Number!

So, lately (okay; for a while now) I have been noticing that there has become a culture amongst some of us forty-something women that seems to dictate that, as they get closer to what seems to be the dreaded 5-0 and beyond, quite a few of the afore-learned lessons and wisdom are eliminated from their current situation. Yes, I have been keeping a somewhat disappointed eye on some of my contemporaries; shocked at what I have both been seeing and hearing.

Let’s address this: I absolutely understand that different ages in life demonstrate different stages in life; I get that. Thankfully I am not the child that I was in my 20’s… purporting to know things; but truly only having personified that urban adage, “young dumb and full of cum”! Thank God those days are over! In my thirties, thankfully for all involved, I truly did begin to learn some lessons – about life, about love, about friendship and, about myself! My thirties began the journey towards happiness and peace. So here I am, fully ensconced in my forties; looking forward to tipping over into the other half of life that I just know will be even more spectacular! Truly. Because now, now I DO know things!!

See, but for me, there is absolutely no fear or sadness living in this space in life. For me, the alternative is worse; so this is fantastic J . But I have been realizing that there are quite a few (and today, I am talking ‘women’) who seem so distressed at aging (as if we weren’t always ‘aging’) that their behaviors are a grotesque pantomime of desperately “grasping at straws”; trying to clutch at the things, people and behaviors that hopefully will deny the truth of their realities.

Okay, let me both be specific and ask some questions. In some women that I have known since I have truly known myself, that I have come to respect and depend on the standards that I have always associated with them, there seems to be (some are more blatant) an almost imperceptible shift in those standards. It seems that on the climb up to the pinnacle that marks half of a century, grace, pride, high standards for both themselves and those around them, confidence and classiness were implemented in spades; and, in what they now view as a dreaded descent, most of those qualities have been abandoned. Sad, really; because as I see it, if anything, the ascent was the harder part with all that load; ‘downhill’ is a breeze!

But seriously, it saddens me to see the somewhat wild-eyed and frantic actions and decisions being made by some of my otherwise classy contemporaries. And, this grasping is most noticeably directed toward the opposite sex. It appears as if some are so determined to not cross the ‘finish line’ alone, that they are willing to lean heavily on another, even more limp than they. It seems as if some of my generation have determined that this is the age where they begin to “take what they can get”. What?!

Listen, today I am not “mouthing off”; I am truly confused and saddened by what I am seeing/sensing. Maybe this has always been a part or a stage of life; but, I just got here. Interestingly also, there are those around me that seem to be in fear of my single-hood; gently pushing me toward relationship; seeming to be so afraid of my ending up alone, that “anything is better than nothing”. Again, what?! My age (or the seeming decline of same) will never factor into a decision to “hitch my wagon” to anyone! Luckily for me, I view the years I have lived and those I still hope to occupy as a testament to not only God’s grace, but one of the sexiest things I have ever done! Aging for me is something to be applauded, not dreaded! And more importantly, it is to be done chock full of all the experiences and lessons I have garnered along the way; to abandon them now will be absofuckinglutely ridiculous!

Honestly, I too think about the years ahead; I have my own set of plans for them (not to be confused with God’s; ha-ha). In my plans, there absolutely is room for a partner; but one that fits well with both whom I am and the experiences and lessons I have had. There will be no “fitting a square peg in a round hole” for me. ‘Desperation’ will never dictate who and when I date; the only ‘d’ words I will use are: desire, destiny, decency, dependability, dedication, diligence and… damn fine! At no point will I turn my back on the standard I have set for either myself or those that I allow into my space; age is supposed to bring wisdom, not continued stupidity!

But I said I was not “mouthing off”; and, I am not. I would truly like to hear what you all think about this; publicly here; or privately: emailme@letsaddressthis.com). I am fully aware that as we age, there are traits and behaviors that we need to leave behind – for the young (I swear… I will stop wearing those shorts soon). I agree. I just reject any suggestion, any advice, any fear, any opinion that leans in the direction that that means my grace, dignity or wisdom.

 

 

 

2 responses to Don’t Be Stupid… ‘Age’ Is So Much More Than A Number!

  1. Deion

    Wow ! Ok I wont mouth off either but to my best ability understanding and the ears to many women all ages everyday I will share what I do understand.
    Many have spent their lives not knowing or experiencing love or from their conclusion of what love should look like will accept that asset even at the cost of greater character flaws that as we all know can be detrimental mentally physically or financially BUT ANYTHING NOT TO BE ALONE WORSE OLD AND ALONE.
    Then there are those that have been married and divorce that feel they’ve missed out their youth wheater its a failed relationship and children and the hardship of doing it alone that are DETERMINED TO GET SOME OF THEIR YOUTH BACK AGAIN BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY
    And as far as raising a family single handed I mean children or child fully in house with that parent day in and out as well as work school parenting THEY FEEL LIFE HAS PASSED THEM BY AND NOW NOW THAT THAT CHILD IS IN A SOMEWHAT INDEPENDANT STATE DEGREE IN HAND AND FREEDOM IN A MANNER NOT HAD WILL TO DO THINGS THEY SHOULD HAVE DINE BACK WHEN WHEN IT WAS ACCEPTABLE OR COULD BE EXCUSED OR OVERLOOKED NOW WE WITH A DISCERNING EYE AND EAR ARE SAYING ” uh UHM ah oh okay ”
    Then there are those who not only DONT know love haven’t experienced real love from birth and SIMPLY DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES SO THEY SETTLE THROUGH OUT THEIR LIVES RIGHT UP TO THE ” dreaded fifties ” which should be the beginning of ” GOLDEN ”
    You see no matter how you slice it AGE CLASS WISDOM MATURITY ETC….. People play games and wear masks all their lives whether it’s because of their life experiences or lack their of as well as THEIR VERY REAL FEARS & TRUTHS and one FINE DAY THINGS BURTS AT THE SEAMS AND THAT VERY DESPERATION CHOICES OR BEHAVIORS WE EXPERIENCE SHOWS AND REARS ITS NOT SO PRETTY HEAD ” EXPOSURE ” and then there it is in the light of day in the open for all to see BUT DARE NOT JUDGE we can chose to love unconditionally through that period move closer to help or further away knowing they have the ” TOOLS ” and it’s time for them to APPLY & MATURE in ” THEIR ” life process but until then we see and we hear what you speak of today. UNTIL AGE IS VIEWED AS A BLESSING FROM GOD UNTIL THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH IS FOUND IN RESTING IN HIM UNTIL THEIR RESTORATION OF TIME NO MAN CAN GIVE BACK TO THEM IS RECIEVEC THROUGH THEIR HEALING IN CHRIST UNTIL THEY RECOGNIZE THAT THEIR IS NO REASON FOR DESPARATION BECAUSE THEIR LIFE WAS ODERED AND ORDAINED FROM DAY ONE ITS UP TO THEM TO CHOSE TO SURRENDA SUBMIT TO LOVE TO KNOW LOVE TO HAVE LOVE WHICH BY THE WAY KNOWS NO AGE RACE OR GENDER JUST SPIRIT MIND BODY AND SOUL UNTIL THEY DISCOVER THEMSELVES AND FULLY LOVE THEMSELVES BEAUTY SCARS AND ALL EVERYTHIG GOOD AND BAD ABOUT THEM UNTIL THEN THEY WILL GRASP AT ANYTHING ALL THINGS AND FEAR BEING ALONE NOT REALIZING THEY NEVER HAVE BEEN.
    AS FOR THOSE SHORTS YOU WEAR THEM WELL YOU ARE A STYLIST A MODEL AND A GOOD EXAMPLE OF SHOULD YOU Wnt to wear them at this or that age here’s an idea of
    ” HOW ” I found it difficult to separate ” behavior age and love ” during this response I hope is not confusing and a bit helpful

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Let's AdDress This... – Author

    I thank you for taking the time to pen such an educating and (obviously) heartfelt response. Know that I truly respect your many insights and have placed them next to the opinions and theories I had already formed.

    THIS is what LAT is meant to personify – the exchange of ideas and knowledge – thank you!

    Like

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