So, I remember a little over one year ago, stalking my ex’s FB page; because, well, I woke up one morning and as the day went on, I just had to know what he was up to (and picking up the phone to ask was certainly not an option!). So, I let my nosy fingers do the walking and, as one ultimately finds when he goes “looking for trouble”, I found it! On his page there was a post that sent me right over the edge – because, well, we all know that everything someone writes on their ‘wall’ is about us; right?
I found these words: “When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say”. What?!? There I was, in a hysterical state of “Hell hath no Fury…” (you know the rest)! I remember being livid, hurt and downright murderous! So naturally what did I do? I called! Hahahahaha. Anyway, this part of a long story short, it turns out that (supposedly) the statement had nothing to do with me (still don’t believe it…. everything has something to do with me J ); it was something he had heard and thought funny to re-post. Well, the lesson in that should be this: if not your words, put the damn thing in “ “! That will avoid sooooooooooooooooo much misunderstanding from those of us with absofuckinglutely no business minding your business! Ha-ha.
See, but this is going somewhere; let’s address this: what are your opinions of “life after love”? Are you the type that believes that both parties (or all three of you if you were into that kinky kinda shit) should just turn their backs and resume the lives you inhabited before the co-mingling of bodily fluids? Or, are you like me? Thinking that as long as there were no cops, court cases, restraining orders or Tasers involved in the dissolution of your union, it is indeed possible and should be encouraged to maintain a connection?
Listen, I know that that (my way of thinking) brings about its own set of mine-fields to be navigated. I get that retreating to and re-signing your old lease in your individual corners is a much cleaner option. Agreed. But hear me out: is it not possible to find a way to maintain the parts of your relationship that did work? Is it always necessary to “throw the baby away with the bath water”? I don’t think so. I will leave this earth opting to believe that the love two people professed to feel for each other can override the fact that they only now get to see each other fully clothed. Call me a foolish romantic!
But look, like I said, my way leaves the proverbial door open for all kinds of ‘punch in the gut’ moments. ‘Rules’ will have to be discussed and established with regard to the handling of: (1) new partners, (2) are you still expected to cook for them once in a while? Or should he still help put your ac in the window? (3) Do you still call at 12:00am on the day of birth; or is 4:00pm in the afternoon now the acceptable time? (4) How are other special occasions handled? And, on and on… Quite a list of shit to work out!
Who the hell knows why I woke up thinking about this! But as I write I know that it is indeed very important to me. Everywhere, everyday there is news that one more person has lost his life… and we grieve and rail at the Gods for same. Maybe this is why I am writing this. I prefer to ‘lose’ to the Gods; but not from my own stupidity or as a result of misplaced ego. See, death is final; but until then, nothing else has to be.
I will answer…