Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Yesterday I watched the episode Dr. Phil aired of his interview/intervention with Nick Gordon (Bobbi-Kristina’s boyfriend); wow! For those of you not following this unfolding saga (I’m not either; it sneaked up on me), Nick Gordon seems to be in the throes of, amongst other things, some sort of ‘break’; fueled by alcohol and drugs (Xanax, to be exact). So… enter Dr. Phil.

I admit my first reaction when watching the episode was one of absolute bewilderment and disdain. Everything about that young man’s affect seemed contrived and fake; and, for the amount of crying he was doing, I am yet to see one tear! Additionally, Mr. Gordon seemed more interested in peppering his conversations with little (okay, blatant) reminders that indeed, he is a ‘celebrity’. Oh, and that this episode was going to portray him as being weak… (and I quote), “in front of the whole world”. Get it? Can’t be mad at him though – I mean if he had me glued to the television watching his spectacle unfold, it may be safe to assume the “world” was indeed watching J

But here’s the thing, it was absolutely a pathetic sight watching him. And, I am unsure how Dr. Phil withstood his time there (that’s not true… I do know how/why he did it); or, how Gordon’s mother was able to sit next to him without showing being thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed! However, now that I have gotten my initial disgust out, let me share some of the other thoughts and feelings I experienced when watching this young man. Bear with me and, let’s address this.

Despite the ‘train-wreck’ that is Nick Gordon and even putting aside his very obvious dick-hardening reality of chasing some collateral fame by standing this close to celebrity, it is also quite obvious that his behavior needs some serious attention, adjustment and re-alignment. Putting aside for the moment whose fault it may be that this young man is in crisis, the truth is that he is indeed in crisis. Now, there’s a part of me that won’t be silenced that says that the ‘crisis’ is simply because (like he said, but for entirely different reasons), without Whitney and Krissy, he truly is ‘nothing’. I mean, his only claim to fame is his association to them; so, remove them from his equation and effectively we have also removed him… as if he never existed. So yes, there is a part of me that rolls my eyes at all his dramatics and wants to tell him “just go get a fucking job and shut up!”

But, the other part of me that is hyper-sensitized to emotions and the illnesses of the heart is also focused on this situation. You see, even if my afore-mentioned un-trained diagnosis is true, what sadly is also true is that that threat of a loss of such an important identity can lead to fatal destruction. Simply put, when one is removed from a person, situation or lifestyle that they have depended on (especially one that is as sexy, lavish, controversial and celebrity-filled as the one he has been exposed to), the effects can not only be devastating, but highly fatally traumatic. Now, let’s assume he does love both Whitney Houston and her daughter, we have just added sincere heartache to desperation. I hope you are all getting this recipe for disaster: heartbreak + desperation + loss of only identity = binge alcohol and drugs = suicide or unintentional overdose.

So I could take this in its somewhat natural path of asking the questions I and so many others may have, such as, “where was his mother this entire time? Before this young lady ended up in a bathtub unresponsive, did no one hear or see the weaknesses in this young man? Was anyone counseling him to do something with his own life? Or was everyone seemingly as satisfied as he was to stand close enough to the heat that is BB, Whitney and BK in the hope that some of their shine will reflect onto them? Yes, I could take it there and have this be about that; but quite frankly, that is too easy and honestly, better left until all the sad parties in this saga are well and able to defend themselves.

So, I will keep the focus on what truly matters at this point – praying that if Bobbi-Kristina is to wake up, she does so the exact minute her mind and body are healed… and not a minute before. If she is to leave and join her mother, I pray that those that are left behind get the strength they will need to let her go (we all know by now that all ‘leaving’ is always harder on those that are left). For that young man, I pray he seeks and receives the help he so obviously needs – in getting himself free from under the influence of substances; but equally as important, in forging an identity of his own; understanding that it truly does not matter how many times or ways you fuck a celebrity, despite how many others have attempted the same and seem to have benefitted, ‘celebrity’ is not sexually transmitted!

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