Isn’t it interesting how little credence most give to the body-issues so-called skinny girls may have? Truth. Constantly in my own experiences I find myself being in the position of having to defend myself for voicing very similar image-issues that those of a bigger body type may have. From people’s responses, it seems as if you are expected to accept as gospel, their view of you and are put in the very awkward position of being made to feel guilt for even voicing any sort of dissatisfaction with yourself… simply because they may appreciate what they see; or even wish they had.
Let’s address this: yes, I am what many may consider to be a skinny-girl; and yes, I may even be blessed with how some may desire to look. However, none of that eliminates me from the right to have or voice dissatisfaction with any particular part of my attributes – I am absolutely entitled to grumble about the same things as anyone else – I can say that I don’t like my thighs, I most certainly am entitled to negatively consider how the fat around my middle is being highlighted in a particular outfit, I can ask if my cellulite is showing too much and, the pièce de résistance…. I most definitely am entitled to ask, “does this dress make my ass look big?”
I do understand what happens in someone else’s mind when they hear someone with what they may admire, dream of, aspire to or wish for complain about said thing – whether body type, life, career, social standing, etc etc. I get it; it can sound ungrateful and unappreciated. But in no way does your perception of someone else’s good fortune usurp their perception, reality or right to feel or wish for something else or better for themselves. The fact that one may long to look like someone else does not mean that that someone else does not have the right to express either temporary or permanent issues with their image. Telling a skinny-girl to “shut up” when she grumbles about some tiny issue or the other is as rude as a skinny-girl (instead of simply thinking it) saying out loud when someone of a bigger size complains about her weight, “well put down the damn pizza, then!”
My point is this – one’s opinion of oneself should never be scoffed at. Certainly there are instances where when necessary, one’s self-image may need to be adjusted, but that should be done with care and love, not dismissal and disdain – and that goes for both the skinny and the not. I mean, I am absolutely entitled to look at my ass in full 3D effect and have an opinion, whether good or bad. I think that what happens for most people is that they super-impose the effect something has on them or look at something that’s on their “physical bucket-list” and become irritated at those that present as not being sufficiently grateful for possessing same. But here’s the thing – I’m the one lugging this ass! I am the one that has to deal with the attention it garners and, I am the one that gets to decide if and when I am equipped to deal with same! Because, despite my hair, my choices in clothing and my four inches, what I choose to highlight, what I prefer that one notices is behind my eyes… not below my back.
Listen, I am not addressing the very real and life-threatening issues that so many experience and live each day; I am not addressing bulimia, anorexia or chronic obesity… at least not yet. Today I am talking about the more superficial aspect of physical realities; but I am pointing out the unfairness of perceptions. I would like to pinpoint that there is altogether too much eye-rolling, sucking of the teeth, lip-curling, sighing and dismissal as it relates to us skinny-girls expressing very relevant dissatisfaction with any part of our anatomies. The fact that my belly-fat may be inches smaller than yours does not mean that it is not there and that it does not upset me. The truth is we both need to do something about it! Dismissing my smaller issues as being inconsequential is tantamount to buying into President Clinton’s rhetoric that, “I did not have sexual intercourse with that woman!” Truthful; but hair-splitting at its best.
Let’s agree – if you refuse to acknowledge my periodic body-issues, please keep yours to yourselves – because us skinny-big-butted-girls deserve respect too J