I saw a man sitting on the train last night, trying his best to fold into himself for fear of any part of his anatomy or clothing touching the two gay men next to him. I alternated between chuckling and shaking my head at how uncomfortable and disgusted he appeared to be by the men who were minding their own business, (seemingly) oblivious to his plight – because well, not only were they gay, but they were gay – happily going about their lives and their love.
So, I watched this fool and could not help but also be saddened at how ignorant some of us insist on continuing to be and I admit, also afraid for our world. You see, it is ignorance and hatred such as his that cause harm and death. Sigh. As I watched him, I felt like tapping him on the shoulder to reassure his imbecilic ass that, “don’t worry… homosexuality is not contagious.” Truly. I wanted to scream that the two lovers were in more jeopardy of “catching” something from his stupidity and hatred than he was from their love. I also wanted to point out that he could relax… from the look of either of them, he was most certainly not either’s type. Ridiculous! Isn’t it amazing how men (especially) internalize when they see gay men? It’s as if they instantly feel threatened that one of the men will all of a sudden look up, point and decide that they must have him! Heterosexual men seem to have an unjustified fear that every homosexual man will make a pass at them. That is as asinine and as arrogant as my thinking that every man (or woman, for that matter) I may meet will want some. Sigh…
I thought we were getting better. Or maybe, I just hoped we were. But as I watched that man on the train attempt to voluntarily implode, I realized that as a society there is so much further we need to go. I am amazed at the fear we feel for the things we do not understand and the revulsion some have for things that are different. Not even necessarily better, just different. And as always, I wonder why we spend so much of our lives looking at and judging what others do. I marvel at the thinking that says that whom you choose to either love or lay will affect my life. Again I say, unless we are unknowingly loving and exchanging bodily fluids with the same partner, I could truly care less. Who you are and how you choose to identify yourself is not up to me or really any of my concern – I am equally as open to calling you Mr. as I am Ms.
Listen, we need to stop expecting and demanding freedoms for ourselves, while trampling on and denying same for others. When will we fully understand that when you stifle my rights, you invariably choke your own? Make no mistake – in one way or the other we all pay for any one person’s denial of freedom or right. For me to enjoy my freedom to speak, I must encourage and uphold yours to choose. For whether you are allowed the liberty to choose to listen, hear or read, will determine if I have an audience. Think about it. I certainly do.
Back to the fool on the train. Let me say this – I appreciate how some may not understand or cannot accept homosexuality and more specifically, male homosexuality (let’s face it, most heterosexual males champion the thought and image of two women making love; praying for the opportunity to get involved!). I can see how to some that can be unnatural. I concede that point. I can also, if I cock (no pun intended) my head to the side, see how for a heterosexual male watching two male lovers and heaven forbid, imagining what they do to and with each other can just be, well…. “that shit is ‘gay’!” Magnificently stupid-ass phrase! But, I can see how being brought up in a male-dominated, aggression-filled, heterosexual Tarzan and Jane society rebuffs the mere thought of two men…. Got it. But as much as I can find some shred of understanding, that will never translate to my condoning the rampant displays of disgust, ridicule or anger. I think the time is very long overdue for these so-called “manly-men” in our society to take a big-footed step back and check themselves! Because not for nothing, I know quite a few of these so-called “manly-men” who are bigger “bitches” and (not my word, theirs) “pussies” because of their own behaviors than can ever be reflected in the love for one man to another! Do NOT get me started!
Yesterday I watched two men enjoying each other and taking their rightful place at the same (lovers’) table you and I eat at. I was proud of them. I watched another man watch and reject them and couldn’t help wondering if part of his issue was envy. You see, the joy in their faces was beautiful to observe (well, for those of us susceptible to beauty) and when they laughed, it truly was a gay sound. Ha-ha J
If I had my way, I would teach our world two things, simplicity and tolerance. You see, we move around the earth complicating things and that truly is unfortunate and unnecessary. It really is simple – we are here to have experiences – and, the more open, accepting and tolerant we are of that concept the more enjoyment we will get out of both our time and each other. I am not advocating that we simply go around loving and fucking everything and person we encounter; that would be unsafe, unhealthy and just plain ol’ nasty! What I am saying is this, step out boldly, do not be afraid, taste as much as you want and leave what you don’t. Touch it all… at least once. Find out what feels good to you. Reject anyone that attempts to taint you with their fears and prejudices! Seek knowledge for what you do not understand and apply tolerance to what may be different. Move out of your own way, stop blocking the blessings ear-marked for you and invite light in. Soak it up, spit some out and drink profusely! Experience love, so when you see it you will recognize it… no matter how it’s dressed.