Match-Faker

What is it about (some) women that seem to dictate they find a way to set up their (happily and confidently) single friends… quickly? Is that desire born out of genuine (misguided) concern for their potential loneliness and an interest in their getting constantly laid? Or, can it be that single women pose too much of a threat? Hmmmmmmmm….

I have friends who seem to want to dedicate a significant part of their time to “fixing me up;” I can’t help but to wonder, “Do I really need that much fixing?” I cannot help but to speculate what the motive behind this desire truly is. I mean, if I were walking and talking stating that I am unhappy, lonely, unfulfilled or feeling in any way inadequate without a partner at my side, holding my head down as opposed to having it so very daringly and arrogantly up, then maybe I can understand their call to action. But with none of those sentiments attributed to my reality, I admit to being quite thrown.

This part I do understand (although I still do giggle and shake my head at it) – when someone gets married (at least for a while) they believe that they have just stumbled upon the very best thing next to sliced white bread! True! And, their only desire during those blissful, rose-colored moments (yes, sometimes it truly only lasts moments) is to have all those they care about experience those feelings. Immediately following those “I Do’s” is an intense wish for this feeling to permeate the entire world! Shit! I mean, if everyone in the world felt as one does in that matrimonial after-glow, there will be no wars, no racism, no hate! Got it. Very noble; and, incredibly cute.

So, not talking about these fools. Ha! I am speaking about the ones running around trying their best to get me off the market. Those determined to see me safely “boo’d up.” I cannot help but to wonder, “Why?” Listen, if the motives are indeed pure, then I say, “Thank you. But I’m good.” However, if the motive for doing so is (consciously or unconsciously) in an effort to protect your trifling mate from potentially glancing in my direction, then I say, “Thank you. But that’s no good!” And, rest assured, I invariably go to a restaurant and eat off of the plate many strangers before me have eaten off of; but, I will never go after a friend and eat off of that plate! You’re safe 😉

Hahahaha. Ladies, listen – first, I wish anyone luck with trying to pick a partner for me! Truly. The reasons for the futility in that exercise are way too many to list. But suffice it to say, in choosing a mate, there will only ever be three opinions I value, mine, his and God’s. Next, just because someone is single does not automatically translate to their being either lonely or depressed. Sometimes that reality was a decision, not a sentence. We need to get to the place, not even as a society, but certainly as humanity, where being alone with no “plus 1” is okay, empowering, mentally and/or physically healthy and, well, sexy as hell! There is no shame is being single! The only shame is taking a partner because you’re desperate!

Listen, some have gotten quite lucky with being matched by their friends; I know of a few success stories. I am indeed not saying it is impossible. What I am saying is the desire for singlehood or partnership is a personal one and should be treated and respected as such. And, for those of you who may either have been wondering or in any way worried about me, let me put your sweet little hearts to rest – when I am ready to change this status of mine, I will be happy and honored to introduce you to, well… I promise you, I’m good J

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