Don’t Look At Where Someone Fell. Look At Where They Slipped…

Are psychos born or made? Seriously. Don’t laugh; I’m serious! What are your thoughts on this? You see, I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and at the end of it, I swear we/I came to the conclusion that psychos… okay, crazy women, okay, bitches are not born that way, our partners make us so! Hahahahaha. Listen, stop laughing!

Let’s be serious for a bit, okay? I believe that psychopaths are “born that way”. I do not believe that society plays any part; that is a predisposition. What I do think is that our society allows for the opportunity to give birth to what is inherent. Yup. Like gays. But… whole other conversation. So, I am not addressing these people; I am addressing the other crazies; the ones that start life in the accepted, normal way and end up as, well, fucking lunatics! That’s right… I am addressing the female species! The ones who run amok without a “path,” just plain ole psychos! Ha!

I have heard so many men use such dismissive and derogatory terms when describing women and quite frankly, given some behaviors (mine included), I admit to agreeing. I have heard and have used the, “She is one bitter-ass female!” and everyone’s favorite, “That bitch is crazy!” But my question to both the men and the women is, “Was she born that way, or did circumstances, experiences, you make her that way?” Seriously. Is a mad black woman born or made?

You see, I consider myself to be pretty even-tempered – well, until I see some injustice or the other, then the meaning behind the name rears its head. But, on any given day my preferred state of being is always one of love, encouragement, support, truth, passion, peace, candor, humor, empowerment and beauty. I love making people feel good. However, I admit that some experiences, certain occurrences in (my) life have dulled some of the glow. I recognize that there are those moments that wave a red flag in front of this bull’s nose and seemingly cause it to salivate! I acknowledge that there are scars that still ache when touched. So, decide – am I a product of nature or that of my nurture? When my passions erupt – whether good or bad – are they because of my DNA or yours?

I have watched women react to situations that can easily be opined in a myriad of negative ways; that’s easy. What is a bit harder is to place oneself in their shoes to determine what in their past may have caused this present reaction. You see, we all are a sum total of our experiences; so it must stand to reason that our experiences will either cause us to be better or bitter. So again I ask, “Is crazy birthed or constructed?” Don’t laugh!

At times I look at the way I react to a situation – I grant in ways that others may view as, “over the top” or certainly that the reaction seems as odds with the action. And, I can even agree that maybe – that reaction may be at odds with that action. But what is often hidden from either the recipient’s or the observer’s view is the trigger, the memory, the red flag that revived a prior act; the peeling off of a scab that loosely held together skin that houses swirling blood. The scent of something that mobilized a “fight or flight” instinct.

They say that, “Peter pays for Paul…” and, as much as we would all like to think that we are more evolved than that, the reality is that none of us, none of life can operate in a vacuum. Memories – of scents, touch, taste and sensation linger on our consciousnesses like the air that swirls around us – never seen, but ever-present. Our decisions? Well, they are birthed by our memories of our experiences. So, as we navigate our lives, hopping from one experience to the next, touching that and tasting this, we invariably carry the opinions, decisions, outcomes and remnants of our prior. Our highs, lows and in-betweens stack on each other like Lego’s.

The “psycho-bitch” is not born; she is made. Sadly, she is the end-result of betrayal, insecurity, pain or maltreatment. She is a woman that wants to believe, that believes she can believe, but that is both scarred and scared. She looks normal until she gets a whiff of a past behavior or action, then, well… So, all jokes aside, what does she need? She needs care, tenderness, understanding, gentleness, security, peace… oh, and some therapy! No, true. As much as a crazy-woman’s behavior may be traced back to some other person’s actions, the truth is, well, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”


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