Here I Am… School Me.

Today marks the start of my (un)official end to summer – school resumes this week for me. Now, before you work up some commiseration on my behalf, please know I am extraordinarily excited! I realize I may be the only person I know looking forward to placing my ass in yet another institution-colored room and raising my hand to denote my presence there, but, in this, I am quite okay with being an anomaly J

My time off has been good – I got to spend time with some folks who are important to my life. I was fortunate to find my beautiful new home and settle in. I had some amazing and amazingly funny experiences, some of which I shared with you all. I got to dust off the dresses and believe I wore slacks possibly only five times since June. As the sun beat down on us and warmed our weary winter-spirits, I was able to clear my head and my heart of some old hurt and I allowed the heat to dry some tears. I worked hard and rejoiced in that. This summer I wrote to and heard from you. Thank you.

Now I buckle down again and resume that part of my life that demands 100% focus; and in many ways that is a very good thing. As much as this time away from school has been good for me socially, it has also allowed for the seeping in of realities and emotions that quite frankly, when academically focused, I ill-afford. Now, that is over. On Thursday I get reacquainted with those that are needed to get me to where I have determined I am headed. I am excited because as each semester begins, it lessens the distance between me and my ultimate goal.

So today I will be quiet. I woke up and realized that what I needed today was a few moments of silence; peace. You see, even as I chomp at the bit to get going, I do recognize the sacrifice being a student – especially one at my stage in life, costs. I acknowledge what is needed and more importantly, what is required to be left behind to ensure I come out where I demand of myself – on top. I accept this path as one of the loneliest I will ever travel.

I have read, seen shows and movies and heard about that other college-life – the one where it’s a continuous party, peppered with periodic appearances in a classroom. Where one’s social life seems to take precedence over your academic life; and, I wonder if it’s all happening right beneath my unsuspecting, oblivious, old nose? Ha-ha. Is it possible I am the only one so hyper-focused on the academic benefits that I do myself a disservice ignoring and negating the social ones? Am I missing the true lesson that school/college/academia is equal parts scholastic and community?

Sigh. When in school I keep my head down, primarily over some book or the other. My interactions are mainly limited to what I do for money and what I do for education. Very little else is allowed to penetrate or disrupt (well, except yall). I confine my physical energies to ensuring I can manage the demands of my commutes and my mental one to guaranteeing I am able to acquire, retain and process the onslaught of information I am given. I guard both with the ferociousness of a lover who recognizes and appreciates what they have been fortunate enough to have and share.

I head back to school this week. Thank you all for your contribution to my break; I had a blast! My blood tumbled, my smiles exploded, my brows relaxed, my heart raced, my tears flowed, my pain surfaced, my anger quieted, my confusion rose, my worry ceased, my words tasted sweet, my laughter pealed, my excitement danced. Thank you.

I wish everyone a very safe end to the summer and a very successful semester. Do yourself good!

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear…”

 

 

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