“… Oh, For Crying Out Loud!”

My tears flow easily and, they flow often.

Now, there are times when I sit and think that life, as beautiful as it is and has been for me, has not always been kind. In fact at times, life just doesn’t deserve my tears, it deserves some very very well chosen expletives… and, I deliver. There have also been those times when, in watching the degradation and injustices we deliver onto others, I cannot help but to grieve at our choices, decisions and actions. Especially when I feel impotent to stop or at the least to affect the negative behaviors.

But I am beginning to realize that in many instances, if I were to just give it – reason, thought, rationalization… life – a few moments, just a tad bit of time I would recognize that the situation or the reality do not deserve tears, but celebration. That some of the things that initially make my heart cry, eventually make it sing.

Perspective. It is/should be an integral part of our day-to-day outlook; we should never leave home without it. It is truly the difference between our happiness and sadness. Between success and failure. Between love and hate. Between hello and goodbye. Perspective is defined as: “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.” Think about that word – “particular” – truly think about its placement here, its inclusion into the definition of a behavior, a mind-set.

So I am learning to, with those situations where I to have a say, not only delay my knee-jerk reactions, but to absofuckinglutely hold them up to the light of perspective, scrutinize the shit out of them and truly determine not only whether they warrant my tears, but any reaction or energy at all. You see, this amazing life has taught me that some things, many things, behaviors and people truly do not rise to the level of importance and relevance we bestow upon them. The longer I live is the more I am getting acquainted with that perspective-business and less intimate with that reactive-business.

Here’s the thing – I am only just realizing (yes, yes, I am a very late bloomer… ask me when I finally got my period!) that I need to regard and treat my tears the way I regard and treat my body – as infinitely precious. Therefore, I need to get better at determining what situations, which actions and moreover who deserve them. Listen, this certainly applies to you as well… tears mean energy. They signify that you are allowing a situation or a person to crawl into you, touch a sacred place and many times, take up residence there. Sap some of your life-blood. Sigh. I will not be so asinine as to make this blanket statement, “Stop it!” but I will encourage this – let’s give ourselves what we deserve – the time to determine whether or not our investing any bit of energy is not only necessary, but worth it.

Because here’s the thing… we are.

Nobody deserves your tears. But who deserves them will not make you cry…”



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