I recently had an event and I asked, okay suggested, well, really encouraged, shit! I demanded it was a black-tie event. The reason I did so was two-fold: (1) it was an important event (what many call a “milestone”) and (2) as a culture, we constantly disregard not only our ability to, but certainly we negate the levels of respect layered throughout the simple act of getting dressed. “Throwing on” something has become our new-normal; mindlessly reaching for those go-to pair of jeans, a habit.
So, we dressed up. It was a beautiful sight – a room filled with beautiful and handsome people all spit-shined and coiffed! I remember looking around and feeling both pride and honor. Pride in all of us for the very obvious effort implemented in stepping up our game and going that extra mile… or three. And, I was and still am quite honored that that room full of people implemented that afore-mentioned list of effort… for me.
But as I sit and think back on that evening and all the bits and pieces that melded to make it an extraordinarily amazing one, I cannot help but to wonder why we have given up on and continue to turn our backs on getting gussied up more often. I wonder if the effort or what we consider the lack of worthy occasions motivates us to deny ourselves that experience. Or, have we just become so very informal, so blasé with life, its experiences and its appearance that our appearance has become reflective of our lukewarm enthusiasm?
You know what? I have always considered the way I dress to not only be an expression of my mood and my intent, but I have also used it to honor both the occasion and my company. For me, dressing is an act of respect. So, invariably one will find me to be the woman not necessarily better, but more than likely always more dressed than most (yes… even when in my little bits of clothing!). Without much thought and certainly devoid of grumbling I err on the side of appropriateness when donning my clothing (yes… even when in my little, little bits of clothing! Sheesh!!)
Now I will grant this may also be something influenced by ones culture; very much as the music we prefer, the way one dances, certainly the foods we eat or the cadence differences in our speech. Very likely our tendencies toward deciding on appropriateness when it comes to choosing an occasion-worthy wardrobe (not to be mistaken with a sense of style) can be traced to what had been instilled in us as we grew. In cultures that demanded – okay, influenced – a sense of formality for certain occasions – for instance, church, weddings, funerals, shit… any occasion that carried with it an invitation – and not no stinkin’ evite! a real paper invitation… ones “Sunday Best” was what was deemed appropriate. The cultures that promoted a much more relaxed attitude when it came to well, anything, will breed behaviors – salutations (or lack thereof), mannerisms and dress code, for example – that are infinitely less stringent and mindful.
I loved me some black tie business! Of course it is not something I can do every day, or even every other day; but it certainly was an experiencee that I thoroughly enjoyed and plan on repeating. I remember as I got dressed that day how sexy I felt! Yes, sexy. I remember putting on my clothing – piece after piece – covering up all those special parts of me and in doing so, feeling so extremely exposed and beautiful. Let me try to explain that. I black-tie’d to the “T”. For all intents and purposes I did it like a man and very few things have ever felt so feminine! So womanly! So fucking sexy!!! In covering up, in doing it up, I felt as if I held a secret – you know… kinda like Superman, under my suit. Except, well, my “S” stood for, stands for, “Sexy” J
Ask me out 😉