In the wake of this latest bit of proof of, “just what one human being can do to another” (or in this case, many others) so many conversations are being sparked. This is a very good thing. Even as what is being voiced by some is enough to make one not only shake one’s head in utter disbelief, but certainly enough to bring full scary understanding of just what hatred looks like… it is still a very good thing.
Like you, I have heard raw grief and outrage expressed at the mass taking of so many innocent lives and, I have heard some say that, “Those gays got what they deserved!” or, “This is what happens when you go against God’s word!” Before I address those people, let me say this, “To the families and friends of those who have lost their lives in Orlando on Sunday, June 12th please know that I share your profound grief. I cannot begin to touch those places in your soul where this pain lives, but please know if I could, I would reach in and remove some of it. There is no true God that had any hand in this massacre, nor did your loved ones do anything wrong and did not deserve this. Despite the hatred that is still being spewed, know that the only person to blame is that one man (and I will never dignify him by penning his name) and those that not only shared his ignorance, but those who may have fueled his hatred either by example or rhetoric.”
This weekend the LGBTQ community celebrated Pride. I was there. I was there in support of my family and friends who are gay. I was there to lend my solidarity to those who suffer daily at the hands and by the mouths of those who deem themselves their so-called God’s “soldiers”. I was there because I am a bi-sexual woman who rejects the notion that all someone chooses to see, to acknowledge, to judge, to rate me by is my choice to either take a man or a woman to my bed. Into my heart. I refuse to appease anyone’s foolish and destructive sensibilities that prefer my story to read, “Domestic abuse survivor at the hands of a man” instead of, “Thoroughly loved, cherished, honored and respected by the heart of a woman.” Foolish.
At this stage in life, I am sadly becoming used to the lows we choose to sink to with regard to our treatment of others. But, I admit this latest bit of madness shocked the shit out of me! Let’s address this. Would someone, anyone please explain to me how another person’s choice in whom they love impacts another’s life? Enough to maim, bully or kill? How did our world become so much more accepting of heterosexual abuse than homosexual love? Who crafted this world where I have license to carry a gun, but not the license to fall in love with someone with a vagina? What about homosexuality terrifies some of you people so very much?!
People died. This time, forty-nine people died and many others wounded because one man pulled the trigger, but many of our names are engraved on those bullets. The “gay” jokes must stop. Not only are they not funny, but you’re belittling yourself telling them. For every, “She must not have ever had any good dick” joke, personally if I wanted to be just as petty and crass I could counter with, “Why yes indeed I have. But I have also had better pussy.” See? No longer funny. Crass. For every “Faggot, buller-man, batty-man” name you could call a man who enjoys the sex and love of another man, for every rendition of the female part you could derogatorily refer to them, I could again counter with the reality that it was a supposed tough, manly, heterosexual man who attempted to torment and kill me. So I ask, “Just who is the real pussy there?!”
Stop. Whom someone chooses to love and to share their intimacy with is so none of our goddamned business. Please stop letting your lack of any partner to love project onto someone else’s choices. Allow others the same freedoms you cherish for yourself. Quite frankly, only when you stop fornicating, stealing, lying, sinning, being greedy, dishonest and selfish will you have the right to judge. “Perfection” belongs to God; the rest of us, straight you, bent me and my friends in the LGBTQ community are all just a bunch of bumbling fools put here to love and have the time of our lives… with whomthefuckever we choose!
These killings have made me angry. Incredibly so. I am tired of some of your hatred and cowardice. I pity your inability to love yourselves enough to leave me and anyone else that has the right to answer solely to ourselves and God, alone. Understand please that my choices, like yours, are private. My right to choose whom to love should be as insignificant to you as your choice of car, food, home, shirt or skirt is to me.
And, it should never be worth killing for.
“Being gay isn’t a choice. But being a bigot certainly is…”