I have noticed a pandemic where people are purporting to care, support and respect, yet their true resolve is one of the opposing intent. More often than not, this widespread disease shows up in the bowels of relationships. Now, Lord knows I am no expert on the subject of relationships, but I do consider myself one on the subject of bullshit; and ladies and gentlemen, what I am about to delve into is solidly at the front of the “Bullshit!” line. So, let’s do what we do. Let’s address this…
There are codes… or maybe I should simply call them, “Dos and Don’ts” with regard to the successes and failures, the happys and sads, the wins and losses of our relationships. And, get this… implementing these thought processes is simple as shit! Indeed. Let me help you out… it’s as simple as infusing, impregnating and injecting each and every thought, thus decision with this, “This relationship is important to me”. Truly. That simple.
Think about it – when we care about our health, it’s important we are not only mindful of what we eat, but we also must pay attention to our mental and emotional well-being. If we care about keeping a roof over our heads, food in our refrigerators and clothes on our backs, showing up on time, enthusiastic and knowledgeable to our jobs is advisable. Having no desire to spend time in jail would mandate we not break the law.
Thus, having a healthy, loving, successful, reciprocal relationship demands the continuous investment in its well-being. It necessitates the implementation of that ‘pause button’ between, “Honey how are you doing?” and the unfair unleashing of rudeness simply because you are having a bad day. It requires you to denounce that, “We are always meaner to those we are closest to” bullshit and replacing it with the commitment to do exactly what’s opposite. Success in our relationships requires we retrain ourselves from thinking we are, ‘walking on eggshells” when we indulge in taking the time to pause to remember, (1) not only who we are speaking with, (2) how much we love them and (3) not only how much they love us, but more importantly how much they do not deserve our ill-treatment.
Societal laziness and its ill-parental permissiveness have us taking liberties and excusing our bad behaviors. Instead of extrapolating and honoring the good in our relationships, it has taken the beauty out of our care-nuances and convinced us they fall under the, ‘Too much work” category. The brain-washing has us catering to our emotional laziness and indulging in behavioral lethargy. Our “hellos” are taking more time than our, “goodbyes”. And, because of our own carelessness and casualness, we are invariably giving permission to others to regard our relationships the same.
“This relationship is important to me”. This is not a sometimes-thing, this is an every time-thing. Behind closed doors, in public (shit! especially in public!), at the work-place, in front of family, in church, with friends. This is a life-style. It is that thing that you, ‘Never leave home without”. It must become a part of you; coursing through your veins, stamped with your DNA. If you live this, when you live this, it not only changes how you respond and react, but it changes the behaviors of those around you. Remember… people take their cues from us.
And, it won’t hurt. Promise. Placing and living our relationships on an elevated plane can only benefit our lives and enrich our experiences. I am not speaking of any disillusioned state of being. I am speaking of the care and protection we should show to indicate respect and honor. I am speaking to treating ‘love’ as a verb and not a noun. I am addressing manifesting your desire to love in success.
Yes, it is “work”; but so is “work”. One reaps financial security; the other emotional. One allows you to procure the material things you need to survive; the other guarantees you the fuel and fire you need to achieve the first. Let’s stop being so very cavalier about how we treat our partners. Let’s set standards for ourselves that far exceed their expectations. Let’s remove from our realities the fear of being called, ‘Pussy” because we seemingly bend to the wishes of partners that make us happy, that cater to us, that listen to our fears, that are the loudest cheerleaders of our victories, that stand between us and the world in protection, that encourage, that soothe and that demand our best selves. Luxuriate in that title!
Now, Lord knows I am no expert on the subject of relationships…