More Moonlight.

Lord help us! It sure as hell seems as if we have been living under a perpetual full moon since that fateful night of the elections! Things are all kindsa helter-skelter… people took a joke seriously and now he, all his children by different baby-mothers and his current immigrant-import wife are living in Washington in the house my ancestors built! And, every day since his lease started he is hell-bent on showing us not only how incredibly stupid and ignorant he is, but how racist, bigoted, evil, petty… and dangerous! He has embarked on a course of action geared towards “sanitizing” this country of anyone he deems unworthy (and the yardstick used is even shorter than his dick!).

So, there’s that.

Then (and I lay the blame squarely at his little feet, as bad behavior begets bad behavior), some have given themselves the authority to exercise what may have remained their dormant hatred had it not been for him. They are targeting and murdering transgender citizens; seven thus far… and today is only February 28th. Seven lives taken because we allowed animals to exercise their right to vote, we did not all exercise ours and they were successful in nominating and electing the leader of their pack.

And that.

Oh! A movie about some black people won best picture at the Oscars! Can you believe it! Us people! We people! Oh! And there were gay people too! Yup. Seriously! But guess what? When it won, there was a big fat loud pale “OOPS!” because they announced as the winner, that other movie. With white people. Sigh. Then, when the error was corrected, from that moment till now, all people are talking about is the graciousness of those connected to the white movie, how well they handled that moment, etc etc. Black-gay-people-movie? Listen; continue to sit this one out; you know your rightful place.

Will it ever change?

 Then there is a feud (what else is new?) between two rappers. A water-main break in Hoboken swallowed a car this morning. Warren Buffet has promised $1M every year to any of his employees who can accurately guess the placement of each team in college basketball. The Waldorf Astoria closes its doors tonight for a scheduled two-three year renovation to become condos. E-cigarettes continue to explode in people’s pockets… yet they continue to buy them. Rihanna is being honored by Harvard as ‘Humanitarian of the Year’. People are being detained at airports. Tonight, Ivanka, Tiffany, Eric, Donald Jr and Barron’s wallet addresses Congress. I have a Spanish test in a few hours; but what is the point? He is ridding this country of anyone for me to speak with. Global Warming was fabricated by the Chinese.

Sigh. A perpetual full-moon indeed…

 

 

 

No Side-Stepping This Truth.

I find the concept of, “not taking sides” not only fascinating, but impossible (okay… I find it disloyal).

Listen, I absofuckinglutely understand that when things are chugging along just nicely, the notion of all of us just getting along is warm and fuzzy and all kinds kumbaya. However, not only do I question the feasibility of staying true to both parties in the event of rockiness, but there is a part of me that shuns the notion altogether. So, every time this particular circumstance arises I am not only left with the question, “how?” but most certainly, “why?”

See, my take on those amongst us that pride themselves on “not taking sides” is this – you stand for nothing. Seriously. I mean, in most instances when bullshit happens, there is a clear-cut who-the-fuck-fucked-up person. In very few cases are all parties innocent bystanders. So, isn’t it then logical (not to mention, loyal) to have a position firmly on one side or the other? Since when did waffling or being spineless become something to boast?! “I am not taking sides” Kiss my ass!

It’s as if those who pat themselves on the back thinking this is their most treasured attribute have found a way to make boiled spaghetti anything but wobbly. Not firm. When was it exactly that we decided that in instances of discord, of heartache, of wrongdoing that our best position is no position? When did we implement a sleight of hand to disloyalty in our attempt to confuse and call it by any other name?

Listen. Owning a position, picking a side is not necessarily a bad thing. There are absolutely many situations where that is not only appropriate, but necessary. Trying to attempt to paint a situation neutral when it clearly calls for assertive, makes you a pussy! Calling a spade a spade does not make you disloyal, it makes you right. Looking at a spade and deciding to not call it anything at all, or figuring if you were to cock your head just-so maybe you won’t ruffle any feathers by calling it a shovel, makes you a pussy! (Oh; and feel free to look up the difference between the two… there is one).

But listen, I understand the inclination, especially when the discord is between two people you love or value, to attempt to remain neutral in an effort to maintain both relationships. I get it. But ask yourself… if you are unable to speak the truth in any situation for fear of losing a relationship, did you ever have an authentic relationship in the first place? If truth causes distance, let it! If obvious physical and emotional support for one wronged causes a rift, let it! Pick a fucking side, people… the side of truth and loyalty!

I said I was fascinated. The fascination comes in part from humans’ desire to share everything… like friends. And family. This need so many have to intermingle all parts of their lives, finding themselves in trouble when called upon to exercise the balls to “call a spade a spade”. Folks choosing to hide behind the, “they’re/you’re both my _____”; pussyfooting where they should be sure-footed.

There are couples I like. Shit! Many I even love. But I can also honestly say that in each two-some there is one partner I am more loyal to. Now, that loyalty may be born from many aspects: related, years known, time/emotion invested, the other partner is simply a jack-ass… you get my drift. Don’t get me wrong however, ‘loyalty’ does not always mean I agree or approve; but it certainly does always mean that my “side” is clear. In no situation (publicly) would one ever have to wonder just who I am rooting or throwing down for. In private, I will have whatever conversation I need to; even if it needs to start with, “now you know damn well your ass was wrong!”

Yes, I like when everyone gets along; it certainly makes for a more fun and less violent existence. But do I necessarily think it must happen deeply between partners and the friends/family each came into the situation with? No. Do I think the lines oftentimes get too blurred manifesting that decision to play both sides? Yes. Do I think it possible some are able to successfully meld their present and future lives with their past? Well, only if all parties are like-minded in either the solidity of their individual loyalties or their acknowledgement of their willingness to leave it exposed and vulnerable to influence and circumstance.

Here is my position always… For me I expect absolute loyalty. For honey, I expect absolute respect. Period.

This should make it more than easy to, “pick a side” J

Love.

 

 

 

 

One Man’s Trash…. The Other Man IS Trash.

This morning mirrored every other morning. Where, at the tip of my commute at Penn Station, I am accosted by the homeless, helpless, drunks, addicts, hopeless. Those from (and some may think, not of) our society that live to grab air, space, food and kindness where they can. Those with only their lives left to lose.

Each morning as I am confronted with this reality, with their reality, I am forced to actively participate in how I maneuver. Their physical presence as they invade my space is threatening. The stench is invasive. Their aggressive behaviors as they beg are at once heartbreaking and irritating. I am forced to actively participate in how I maneuver.

(My) Survival has long since dictated I master the art of not seeing them. I employ the same ‘blindness” that I do when I walk the streets purposely oblivious to the reactions my tower of hair may cause. So, I admit that at times I am able to step over the bodies (literally and figuratively) and be on my way. There are other times however, when I allow my eyes to see, to connect with one of theirs and steel myself to not look away. To confront and respect their hopelessness. To acknowledge its existence and challenge myself to do something about it. In those spaces instead of buying my one cup of steaming hot DD coffee (medium, light & sweet), I will add to my order multiple cups of hot chocolate and donuts… for them.

Now, whether that means I am a good person or just someone who at times finds ways to assuage their guilt for being better off may only matter in Heaven. If there is a greater “reward” than the grateful and heartfelt, “God bless yous” I invariably receive from them will have to be the subject of some subsequent posts. This one is about them. Let’s address this.

Very much like racism, sexism, ageism, abuse and sexual orientation discrimination, those that exist (I cannot say, live) on the fringes of our society must be addressed. It is an epidemic. In a country such as this, to have its citizens… oftentimes its veterans, tumble through our waste, grateful for our discard is disgraceful! To see them huddled on days like this, trying to garner both strength and warmth from those such as themselves should break all our hearts. To have people like me so afraid, thus annoyed at the sight of them, scornful at the stench that their huddled mass emits should make me ashamed. Carrying on our day, oblivious to them until/unless they dare to bother is, to say the least, terrible.

But.20161208_081613

Donald Trump: “My daughter Ivanka has been treated so unfairly by @Nordstrom. She is a great person — always pushing me to do the right thing! Terrible”

 

 

 

 

A Sense Of Nonsense.

Someone asked me to voice my opinion of “entitlement”; that thing that so many possess that seems to, in some misguided way, give to them the sense that all things are set up just so solely for their benefit.

(I’m thinking my thinking on the subject is evident, so I could stop now. But, let’s delve a bit deeper. Let’s address this…)

I am certain most, if not all of us have encountered or have permanently entrenched in our lives those people that rise (or, is it sink) way past the level of being spoiled. Those that seem to inhabit an alternate reality that they have fashioned just for themselves.  Realities that include others only as a reflection of themselves, or only as they can be of use to them. Those folks for which the phrase, “A sense of entitlement” was coined.

I, whenever I have a few moments to waste, have wondered at exactly what went wrong in nature and nurture to have resulted in these micreants. How is it that some are so able to view this incredibly beautiful world solely through an “I” lens; steadfastly ignoring the rights of others to be here, participating in this human and spiritual process. What makes some so very self-involved that outward sight is only necessary as it relates to inward benefit?

I admit to being baffled.

There is a diagnosis and a very important-sounding name – Narcissist: “A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves”. Then there is the spin-off, that person that takes this supremely selfish behavior and ups the ante into a realm all its own – Psychopath: “A person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior”. Yes, these are very real, very sad, very problematic, very (potentially) dangerous diagnoses that, if left untreated and unsupervised can have long-lasting and deadly consequences. Nothing to be trivialized.

Then there are those that fall under the ‘self-centered’ category. Those who have waaaaayyyyyyy too much self-esteem and for some strange reason see themselves much differently than we see them. Those that believe they are not only the world, but the axis as well. And, for every clinically diagnosed person out there, sadly there are tens more of the ones that do not need to benefit from medication, but simply from either a mirror, a reality check or a good swift kick in the ass!!

Listen. Being one’s own cheerleader is a wonderful thing. Having one’s self-esteem bolstered and nurtured from a young age is the right of every child. But I truly believe that more parents need to distinguish for their children the difference between being the center of the universe and being the whole fucking thing! There absolutely is such a thing as loving too much. When that love has no boundaries, is too indulgent and permissive, we lay a bed of fertile manure for delusions to take root. We encourage behaviors that have no business being seen, much less tolerated outside of the four walls we pay for. Because it is when that sense of entitlement is visited on an unsuspecting, unwilling and rational human race that both parties encounter problems!

Believing, because of race, gender, religion, economic standing, physical beauty or a skewered opinion of just-what-you-can-do-with-your-genitals, that you are entitled to move through this world being an asshole, bully or a brat is one of the most unattractive qualities. One’s ability to throw the biggest tantrum does not make one the “baddest bitch” out there; it just means you get your way because no one wants to hear your irritating whining voice one second more!

More need to understand that true bad-ass is not getting your way, but making your way!

Here is what we are all “entitled” to: Karma.

 

 

 

 

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