Casting A Spell!

I feel I should start giving writing lessons. And, I will not even think of focusing on anything fancy – I will take us all the way back to the basics where it seemed many of us were out doing something else on the days they were taught. Spelling. I would gather many of my friends (yes, sadly… I have friends who qualify for this class!), sit them down, promise them unlimited #whatevertheydrink afterward and begin speaking.

We would focus on the importance of public speaking. No; not the proper attire/stance/eye contact bit. I do not care about that! Well, not for you J My class will focus on the fact that so very many of us are out here posting, what seems like in ten-minute intervals and, again, forget content… spelling for crap!

Some of yall are making things plural that either shouldn’t or can’t be – I can’t takeS or makeS anything! I, can only make or take! Also, my opinion can only be that you’re beautiful/smart/funny/sexy/annoying. In no way can I think your beautiful/smart/funny/sexy/annoying! Lord have every mercy… if I lose a loved one, the surest way to lose ME is to send me a correspondence that says, “Sorry for ur lost”. Okay. If you don’t respect me, at the very least, respect the dead… spell out the entire word (and, that’s your, not you’re) and, the damned word in this context is, loss, never ever ever, lost!

Let’s continue. There are some nouns in our spectacular English language that remain the same whether singular or plural. Let’s examine some: deer, sheep, fish, shrimp, cod, swine. These (and there are more; Google the shit!) never ever carry an ‘s’ at their end to denote a plural form.  Additionally, there are some plural nouns that for some strange reason, some try to make more plural; I shit you not! I have heard, womens, mens and childrens. Sigh. Stop!

Now, whether you continue to read my posts after this one is up to you. But, it will never be, weather you continue to read… My darlings, one denotes options – whether this or that, and the other, if it’s raining, sunny, snowing or hot. They have never been or ever will be interchangeable. Notice also I said, “it’s raining”. That says I am saying, it is. The other form, its relative is meant to suggest possession. Again, learn the difference; use it wisely.

One of my favorites: too and to. I admit, often I have to pause over the use of these. Here we go. Too, means as well or also and it also should be used to express excess or an abundance; such as, ‘your spelling malady is too insulting!’ To on the other hand, is a preposition. I know, I know, big word! Simply put, it should be used to express… yall see that?! For next class, we will learn the differences between ‘borrow’ and ‘lend’. Read up on it so yall will be ready.

Listen, I feel encouraged by today’s lesson. Let us review:

I remember when I decided to take an English class; I realized if I didn’t I would be lost and that would be my loss. You see I knew my eventual success would be predicated on whether I took it or not, so I decided to disregard my desire to fish or eat shrimp because the weather was perfect. Listen, your decision could be different, but please remember you’re only as successful as you are determined. It’s absolutely up to you. But, I do suggest you think very deeply as I have seen some of your writing and well, men and women, some of you need to address it as honestly, it is too bad!

Have some pride… and damned respect!

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