I hope yall were expecting me to have something to say about the Weinstein situation in particular and sexual harassment/abuse in general; because, I do have quite a bit to say.
Any light that is shone on and brings awareness to any injustice is a good thing. The more that is revealed, the better position we will all be in toward a solution, a cure, a resolution, or a conviction. Then, when the business of the wrong-doing is out of the way, the potential for healing can be possible.
Okay; I have stated the obvious. Now, I will also state that I am a bit irked that the world stands up to listen seemingly only when someone they deem important speaks. No; I am not minimizing any celebrity’s right to be heard or for their entitlement to justice. But I am shaking my head at how immunized we have gotten to the plight of the ‘regular’ man. That our voices count less than theirs. That our harassment, abuse and rape take a bit longer (or sometimes, never happens) to be recognized as such. That we are always questioned and often doubted. But the words of a rich, white, celebrity causes an immediate reaction and response around the world.
Okay. But, injustice has been uncovered; yes? And, that should be all that matters; yes?
It is not.
You see, we ‘regular’ people should not be relegated to the corners of society and only allowed out as a response, or in order to substantiate the words of others. Our realities should be front page news, “break the internet”, trend and the subject of much conversation and the reason for interviews as well. Instead, too often all we are allowed is the ‘too’ in the situation; as in #metoo.
So yes, I thank Ms. Judd for speaking out. But, I am rejecting Ms. Milano’s offer to be a ‘too’ because what happened to me (and to you), makes us the headline in our story; not bringing up the rear in someone else’s. Because when someone has you suspended off the floor by your neck, staring you in the eyes and saying to you, “Say goodbye cause you’re going to die,” the only behind I am interested in is placing that reality behind me.
I am not minimizing anyone’s experience; I would never do that to them or you. I am simply expressing my sadness at a reality that only/mainly responds to those voices it considers worthy. Cause here’s the thing… after he left me tormented, terrorized and broken, once I regained my voice and stopped hearing his, once I stopped preferring death to living, once my soul healed and my fear receded, ”worthy” was a promise I made to myself, of myself.
I celebrate all the women who have spoken up; good for you! I pray you continue to heal. Know you are strong. I also encourage you to not only speak up in response to another, but to know you deserve to speak up for yourself, by yourself. You can do it. I know… because you have already survived this much.