Try This On For Size.

I was asked yesterday why I had not yet written about that “shithole” Trump and his latest foolishness and my response was this: “What is there left to say that hasn’t been said or isn’t being felt?” Truly. I feel that throwing my two-cents into the ring and vomiting all that I feel with regard to that vile excuse for a man will be redundant, as I KNOW it mirrors your emotions. So, I choose to keep a watchful and disgusted eye on him, keep on writing to our President Obama, begging him to come back or send his wife to save us all, pray to God to protect us from his (Trump’s) ignorance, racism, narcissism and dangerous rhetoric and move on.

I am in Trinidad. I am in the country of my birth and where my heartbeat, my daughter, lives. It is incredibly hot here (WhooHoo!) and thus, I am wearing little pieces of things (solely in deference to the weather 😉). But listen, this post is not about the shithole and it is not about my daughter – one I hate and refuse to waste either of our time on and the other I adore so much that I tend to protect her privacy fiercely. This post is about those “little pieces of things” I wear. This post is about fashion yall (yes; I know).

Since starting this blog, I have been periodically but consistently asked why I do not write about fashion. Why, given my past career and my obvious delight in getting dressed (up), I seem to steadfastly steer away from addressing this conversation. In fact, in the years I have been addressing those topics I hope you have been interested in, I have written about fashion once; and that was under duress. Ha-ha. I have steered away from fashion predominantly because I found the topic, addressed by me, would be just too obvious and perhaps, even clichéd. I never would want anything I offered you to have the, well, “du’uh” reaction. But lately I have been thinking that my steadfast avoidance of this conversation is just fattening up the elephant in the room. So, let’s address this…

Lesson number one: there is a difference between fashion and style. (I kinda feel as if that is all I should have to say; but alas…). I believe the first mistake we make is confusing the two. A very simple explanation in differentiating between the two has already been given: “Fashion is what you buy. Style is what you do with it…” Simple. True. Gospel. Oftentimes, some amongst us believe that their ability to recognize and afford the latest trend to hit the catwalk will instantly transport them into the realm of stylishness. This is as untrue as your sitting in a garage making you a car. People, one is materialistic; the other organic. We must become very comfortable and honest with who we are. We will need to discern whether our sense of fashion and our sense of style have been introduced to each other or whether they continue to be estranged.

Lesson number two: just because it can be reproduced in your size, should it be. Simply put: not everything is for everyone! And I am speaking to both my fuller readers and us skinny-ass ones. Knowing and more importantly getting comfortable and accepting what you look like figure-wise is fundamental. Rejecting a celebration of the “one size fits all” reality will get you far in your quest to be considered a ‘stylista’. Too often there are some of us who seem to have, if not a distorted image of self, certainly a distorted mirror and who seem to see ourselves as the person we wish to be/become and not the person we really are; and then, we dress that future self… now. Stop. There are very flattering styles for both us fuller people and us skinnier ones. Embrace your truth and rock the style to suit!

Lesson number three: what you wear must be intimately tied to what you are wearing it for. In other words, the occasion must affect your fashion more than it does your style. In this instance, what you pick becomes a tad more important than what you then do with that choice. Respecting the dictates of: black tie, formal, semi-formal, informal/casual, garden, professional, church-wear, “meet-the-parents” wear, funeral, beach, lounge, honeymoon-night and for those of us it affects, season-appropriate for all those afore-mentioned, is absofuckinglutely essential! Showing up to a wedding – even a garden wedding – in jeans is inappropriate. Meeting the parents in your shortest club gear is guaranteed to make the father a fan and the mother not (and make no mistake, mom’s is the only opinion that matters!). So, determining the occasion and knowing your audience is essential. Trust me, no one will be appreciative of your supposed-style-sense by flaunting your knowledge of the latest fashion trend or your ability to afford same if you are dressed in fuchsia at the funeral!

Lesson number four: trust me when I tell you that you can get away with most anything if you wear a fantastic pair of shoes with it! Trust me! Now, I am not saying to ignore any of my above directives and go all size or occasion inappropriate and then wear fantastic heels. Nope. What I am saying is, for the most part, you can shop at thrift or vintage stores, your favorite boutique, Macy’s, shit, even Target (yep; have done that!) and top (or is it bottom?) off that outfit with excellent quality, well-made shoes and kick some style ass! I have worn a fifteen-dollar dress from Target with a six-hundred-and-fifty-dollar pair of heels and everyone complimented my dress! Yes. Those heels had everyone asking: “whose dress is that?” in that very obnoxious brand-whorish sort of way. Hahahaha. I delighted in telling them “Target!” So, ladies and gentlemen, skimp on the cost of the clothing if you like, but when it comes to shoes, put your money where your toes are!

There are more lessons, but this is all for today (must save some for subsequent posts) and a very good start. Trust me or try me. Truly. Let me know how you do. Listen, I do not know all things. I at times do not even know many things. But people, I do know style 😊

IG: hell_hath_know_fury
Twitter: @addressingthis

 

The Same New Me.

Happy New Year.

Like you, I have been reflective for the past few days, contemplating, assessing and making plans for the year ahead. But unlike some of you, I believe I am being realistic in determining just what I would like to do and marrying that with just what I am capable of doing… not based on ability, but based on availability.

One of the major and most common of mistakes we make at this the start of a brand spanking new year is setting these unrealistic goals for ourselves. The reason they are branded as “unrealistic” is because we seem to set them based on a life and a lifestyle that is the antithesis of our own. We vow to work out five days a week when we know (1) we cannot afford a gym membership because we only work three days a week (part-time) at best (2) we have never worked out one day of our lives thus far, so five? (3) not only do we have a full-time job, but it is sooooooooo full-time that we start at 6:45am and finish at 10:00pm (on a good day), that finding time for the gym is damned near impossible when most times we cannot even find the time to eat (4) it is frigid out; who the fuck are you kidding?! But, we make them and our good yet highly delusional intentions last until mid-February when we say to ourselves that we survived last year as is, so “if it ain’t broke…”

But the truth is, the passing of each year into the dawn of another is supposed to manifest growth. We are, if we are committed to doing this life correctly, to set the groundwork that allows for the potential for the successful manifestation of yet another rung of achievement. Each new year should bring us closer to the actualization of the fulfillment of those dreams and goals we have planned for ourselves. And, as each year passes our list should never get shorter; on the contrary, it should always maintain either the same number of aspirations (not to be confused with the same aspirations) or more. You see, as we cross one achievement off, another should replace it. We should never stop dreaming, planning, pushing, growing or striving.

My name is Fury.

Twenty-plus odd years ago my modeling agency sought to immediately address the “elephant in the room” that was my bald head and provocative/challenging personality. Instead of pretending I didn’t exist as is, they sought to celebrate it. We came up with the name together as I felt it was truly the personification of all I am – the bold, simmering, provocative, in-your-face, transparent, fiery, sensual, unfailingly honest, challenging, fiercely loyal, dedicated, creative young woman I was that also housed this woman I have become.

Fury.

2017 was a wonderful year for me. Not always easy, at times heart-breaking, exhausting, but wonderful. It was the year I laid more crumbs down that now point me in the direction of the next chapter. 2018 will see the manifestation of the grueling work I have invested and the tears I have shed. It will unfurl even more transparency in my unwavering quest to leave this world just a bit better than I met it. I will meet you and it with the strength of a survivor’s spirit and the heart of any warrior you have ever known. I will be accountable to you, in my speech, my words and my actions. And, I will continue to fight, through my words, speech and actions for those who are unable to fight for themselves.

It’s a new year. It’s the same new me (no, not a typo; think about it). I have made new plans, set new goals, dreamt new dreams. But, I am still and forever, your Fury. People, it’s 2018… let’s address this.

Love.

Email: emailme@letsaddressthis.com

IG: hell_hath_know_fury

Twitter: @addressingthis

No more posts.