At times some marvel at the transparency I choose to allow in my life. They graciously use words like “brave” and “badass” when describing…. me. Many times, when I hear it I shrug it off, not because I am disrespecting their opinion, but because I am overwhelmed by the sentiment. You see, I do not consider myself “brave” I consider myself a product of all I have been through and, because of those experiences, I have dedicated to no longer living in the shadows… of fear, rejection, secrecy, survival, abuse or other people’s limitations or hang-ups. The former years of my life I tacitly gave away to others’ agendas and now? Well now I reclaim it. You see, humans have a way of keeping you close as long as you are useful and summarily discarding you once their agendas have been fulfilled. I get that. What I reject outright however, is my participation in this scenario; and what I have realized once I introduced myself to me, is that I had been participatory in their subjugation and silencing… of me. Let’s address this.
History, and certainly our more recent history, should teach us that there is very little I, or you, have experienced or could experience that another, or many anothers haven’t or will not. Now, don’t get all pouty… you are still quite unique; I promise. And some of what makes you most unique are your responses to those experiences. How you process any experience you may have, actualizes from the remnants of other experiences you have had. The layers of past emotions are what we all draw from when embroiled in our current situations.
Yes, I am transparent. I am so because experience has taught me that baring my soul – my joys, pains, insecurities, hopes… my scars – gives me strength. Strength, because I step from the shadows and show up understanding my imperfections are not unlike yours and, I am entitled to them. As you are. We need to stop allowing others’ agendas to confuse our fates and purposes here. We need to disallow others from stealing our goodness for their own purposes, leaving us to navigate the barren carcasses left in their wake. We need to stop allowing the emotional and physical vultures from feeding from us and fattening their own coffers. We need to stop believing the lies people tell that are meant to cripple us just because they recognize and are threatened by our strength and joy. We absolutely must stop others from dimming our lights, plunging us into darkness, leaving us to navigate from the shadows.
So, I speak. I share. I listen. I am not “brave.” I simply cleared up the delinquency and got the lights turned back on.
I can see.