You Are Cordially Invited To Get Dressed Up.

Whew!

I like to think of July 24th, 2014, the date of my first post here, as evidence of #whereislipped. I think of today as proof of #whereifell. Let’s address this

There are some quotes that are so very spot-on that when I hear or read them, they resonate so profoundly, I am forced to remind myself I had nothing to do with their inception. Some speak so deeply to my soul, my reality, that I secretly (until now) am convinced that even as I may have had nothing to do with their eloquent articulation, I most certainly must have had quite a bit to do with their intention. Here is one (and the one I referenced earlier): “Don’t look at where you fell. Look at where you slipped…” I absofuckinglutely love this quote! The sensitivity of the mind that conceived of such a remarkable way to encourage us to recognize that where we end up (fell) is not the (entire) story, but rather, we are to look at where it began (slipped), I applaud!

So when I penned my first post, determined to address those things we think about, should think about, talk about, should speak about and simultaneously launched a challenge on FB and documented its progress here, the idea started with a dress. That was #whereislipped. It was in that moment that I publicly revealed my dress fetish/obsession for all to see. That obsession manifested so magnificently the name of this site and my other social media presences, Let’s address This.

Today, I reveal #whereifell.

For the past few months I have been working on another of the manifestations of this passion. I am proud to announce that this Spring, I will be opening my very first dress shoppe! It will be called: Dressed Up and will be located downtown Newark, NJ in the Teacher’s Village luxury development. My shoppe will only sell dresses. No shoes. No slacks. No purses. No accessories. No tops. Dresses. Formal, informal, vintage, long, short. There will only be one size each: small, medium, large and xlarge in each style. They will be unique, funky and classic. They will be those pieces picked by me, worthy of you.

I will keep you all posted on the developments as the build-out progresses. I will let you all know of and invite you to the grand opening. I will inform you as soon as the online component is live. I look forward to seeing you all there!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are all a large part of the strength I needed to achieve this. Thank you. I will do you all proud. Watch. Mark your calendars… Spring 2019 there will be this thing you will have to attend and all it will call for is for you to be #dressedup.

Love.

The Most Important Check Is Not The One You Write.

I feel depressed.

Yesterday I spent the entire day in bed, alternating between watching ‘Ilyanla Fix My Life’ and ‘Love & Marriage, Huntsville.’ And, even as some may lay the blame for my state of being squarely at the feet of what I chose to binge-watch, sparking a “chicken/egg debate,” I will have to err on the side of, the feelings came first, triggering the mindless choice in viewing (I have never watched either show before yesterday). Earlier, I forced myself out of bed, went to church, literally praying that both the movement and the choice of activity will infuse some light into the heaviness I feel. Nope. And in some respects, I feel worse. Let’s address this

There is a lot happening in our family and that alone could carry the weight of all I feel. But, it does not. As I relayed in my prior post, I acutely feel the separation from school in a negative way. That also contributes to my feelings. A project I am working on is not moving as efficiently as it should. That too is frustrating. And, as if all those are not enough, I am being forced to question a decision I had made a while back that I am no longer confident about.

So, I am struggling quite a bit.

Now, in some respects, something can be done about most of what is weighing me down. As far as my family is concerned, I will pray and do my part. School? I just need to be patient until I resume and, I can even move up the date of resumption. With regard to the last two problems? Well, I am taking steps to force some efficiency into the first and if that fails, I am simultaneously taking the steps to nullify it altogether and, regarding the second? All it requires is my honesty and my ability to appropriately assess the situation to determine its continued viability. Shoot, maybe watching Ilyanla did pay off!

But here’s the thing: even as I know logically what I should do in each circumstance, I am still overwhelmed. And, that feeling of overwhelmed-edness has me a bit crippled. Figuring out if all these feelings are valid or even valid right now is important. Recognizing that just one of these set of circumstances could be the catalyst for the feelings of the others is an important component in deciding what to do or when to do. Figuring out which element is the most crippling and perhaps causing the most and subsequent peripheral trouble is similarly imperative. Allowing myself the room to feel what I do and cautioning myself to follow the tenet to, “not make permanent decisions based on temporary situations” is advisable.

So, I am going through the process.

I am being kind to myself and rejecting the negative stigma some may want to ascribe to these moments of deep or crippling vulnerability. I am going to be kind to myself with the ebb and flow of my emotions. I am going to cry if/when needed and rejoice in those moments that a smile or laugh manages to emerge. I am going to monitor myself with how long these moments of sadness, fear and helplessness last and seek help if they become moments of hopelessness. And, in moments of strength, I will use them to celebrate its dominance over a moment of weakness. I will be careful, methodical and patient… with myself, the process and the circumstances.

I recognize life. I get it is not always pretty. I still know it is always worth it.

PS. I get to write and that allows me some momentary relief from my feelings. I am also quite transparent and not afraid to be vulnerable. Many are not like that. Check up on your people; especially those you consider quite strong and those others who are more closed off. Feelings of hope/helplessness are more common than we would like to think. Check up. Check in. Check on.

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