Line Item

It is said, “There’s a thin line between love and hate” and, as much as I openly and actively reject quotes and sayings that are so over and callously used they begin to lose their impact and integrity, I have been chewing on this particular one over the past couple of weeks. Let’s address this

Have you ever in your spare time wondered, if that line is truly so thin that all it takes is a determined breeze to tip one over, whether the original emotion was truly love or the ensuing emotion truly hate? Is it possible instead that if what one walks away feeling is hate that hate/envy/jealousy was always a part of the original emotion or that, perhaps in our attempt to salvage face at the end of a thing we disguise our lingering love in an emotion that is more acceptable or suitable to the outcome? Am I overthinking it? Is that line truly that thin?

Here’s where I land on this subject because as you may imagine, being a woman who is dedicated to living all her emotions passionately, I must have experienced both these sentiments. I don’t think we tip over the line. And in fact, I do not even think there is a line. I believe we journey along in our experiences and emotions and along the way, we begin to set up or we begin to be set up for an eventual outcome. I think it is deliberate – even as it may be unconscious – and I believe that that thing we do in hindsight when we look back and are able to pinpoint behaviors we should not have overlooked, is the beginning of the change between the four-letter words.

Listen. Love is an emotion that should be eventual. Oftentimes however, it is one we rush. To it we ascribe what should remain as a hook-up, a “thing” or a fuck. Often, in our effort to conform to some ignorant societal standard, we rush a process and set in motion a stroll to that other emotion… hate. Okay. And yes, there are those times when we do it all “correctly” – we take our time, settle into the process, allow for the “best behavior” to wear off and our true selves to emerge, realize we still like each other and keep going. We stroll, not run and we get there. We love. Shit! We even like! And, we end up at the same place as those other folks who try to turn a “jump-off” into a, well, you know We hate.

Here is where I want to get to and leave this topic and let me state this: hate is not relegated to lover-ships only. No sir. Hate happens in friendships, employer-employee relationships, familial relationships. Listen, anything that has a ‘ship’ in it can foster either warm gooey feelings or intense feelings of hatred. But, my feeling is, it is not sudden. Hate is the end-result of experiences and behaviors that had been happening and possibly ignored. It is born out of envy, fear, jealousy, inadequacy and unrealistic expectation. It is a systematic assault. It is passionate. So passionate in fact, it can often wear the disguise of love. Hate is place that is littered with the wreckage of disrespect, disillusionment, envy and betrayal. It is also littered with our shame at our own foolishness… actualized inward but projected outward.

Perhaps that line is really between love and oneself.

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